All big fires start with one little flame…
ديسمبر 11, 2010
All big fires start with one little flame…
To my Friend,
I will now write you a little story of a little child who loved to
smile… however, things were not always good for him to smile… he asked questions… he questioned everything…
he questioned life
his existence
the beliefs of his parents
the beliefs of his society
he questioned the norms
he questioned everything
nothing was certain
nothing was true
all became a hypothesis
and then he started his quest
his quest for answers
he started with his peers
and then with his parents
and then with their friends
and then with his teachers
and ultimately
he found two sources for answers
they were called books and TV
from books he took knowledge
from TV he took awareness
the amount of awareness he gathered
was much much more than the amount of knowledge
and that made him
arrogant
he thought he knew
until he met with that person
who questioned his knowledge and showed him his stupidity
he did not like it
he did not like feeling
stupid
and his awareness made him realize
that in reality he was pretending that he knew
why?
because pretending
will boost his ego
why?
because he was having inferiority complexes
his father who does not work
his mother who had to work in cleaning the offices of a company
so she can feed him and his sister
and then come back home
to find her husband
sitting with his books
eating
making a mess out of the house
she comes back to clean the house
and make food
and take care of his grandfather
the little child saw the suffering of his mother
he rejected it
he questioned it
he found answers
why
nothing to do with him
it is not his fault
so much to ask from that little child
he wanted to help his mother
he learned about how the society is treating her
only because she is a woman
how her husband
does not only misuse her
and her work
and his powers over her
but also accused her
of cheating on him
with the neighbor
who used to hear her agony
and her suffering
what is cheating anyway? Having sex with someone else?! Why is it bad?
and then he asked
is that wrong
is that right?
why?
always questioning
why
?
then he learned
that women are not independent creatures
they are only tools
they are belongings
he said
this is unjust
he said
that should not exist
and then he read
women should be subjected to men
they are not allowed to teach
they are not allowed
to speak
they are not allowed to show their hair
they are not allowed to wear jewels
he also read that women are the daughters of the devil
and it is because of them
that Adam lost paradise
…:@
but not my mom
no my mom did not do that, the little child said
on the contrary without his mom the little child concluded
he would be in misery and in need
then they said
women have a role and men have another
then he said: but mom has both roles
then they said
women cannot do what men can
then he said
but my mom is doing it and more
then he read
that women are the backbones of all societies
women harvest
women raise babies
women give birth
women take care
women make food
clean
cook
do everything
and more
then they said
but you are a man
i said to them
no i am not a man
if i am to choose what to want
i want to be a woman
being a man is stupid
arrogant
violent
and not useful
if i am to choose
i will choose being a woman
being a woman
do you like to get fucked ya3ni
i said
no
but why getting fucked is bad?
even if i like getting fucked
will that make me a lesser than a man! be it
my mind brought me to the solution of me being both
a man and a woman
the child said!
yes he was a man
he wanted women
and his mentality is that of what is good in woman
and what is good in men?!
the little child concluded
i am a Mawom!
a half man
and a half wom an
ma -n wom -an
half
but then the little child asked
“why do i want a woman?”
“why do a women want me?” he also questioned
and that brought him to why we are here
and why people exist
and what motivated them
and he discovered
that all humans want to survive
and survival of humans require that they gather and accumulate resources
but why?
they said it is god
he said
wait?
what is god?
who is god?
why is he a god?
how is he a god?
where is he that god?
and how can he change this shit that we are all in!
they replied
god
is the creator
how do you know?
it is written in his book?
!
he created humans!
why?
he gave them their freedom to do what they want! what?
!!!
how can i talk to him, I have some demands!
pray to him, he shall answer your prayers
the little child, went on praying
he talked to him, saying: GOD…i want nothing for me
only for my mother
because she too when she was a child
she was sent to Lebanon from Syria to work
for her parents can live
she was tortured
she was ill-treated
she was beaten
they use to make her starve!
she was 6!
he said to God, listen… i don’t know why you let that happen… but…
he said to god, i’m sure she was also raped… she never said that… but common sense says that…
i’m not sure how you let a 6 years old child suffer that much
i don’t know where you are
what you have been doing
with what you were busy
but couldn’t you hear her screams!
then a little voice pumped out and said
“question everything”
ok god, the little boy said… it seems you don’t have time to answer me so i will try to ask you for something now
i will do whatever you want from me
in return, please stop the suffering of my mother
nothing happened… the little child saw…
!
God, please make that stop!
:S
not for me, only for her!
she had enough already!
nothing happened
so the little boy went back
and said
if you will not hear my requests
maybe another god will
so he started looking
for the sadness of things
all gods failed!
yet, they all said
there is only one god, one path, one way
and everyone else to hell
but why
where is the mercy in that!
reply came
missionaries are everywhere now
yes
they are everywhere… i was born to a family that says, this god is the true god and you should fight for him
but the other is born to another family saying , the other god is the true god
and you should fight for him
so they fight!
one dies
and goes to hell
and the second dies and goes to heaven
who will go to heaven and who will go to hell!
?
god works in mysterious ways my ass!
he does not answer a prayer
he created us
wanting and needing
some with powerful character and others with weaker…
some can fight the urge for what is forbidden
and others just can’t
those who can’t will DIE!
will burn in hell!
will be roasted !
but god can do that to you…
so you should be afraid! They said…
should i?
if god will burn me in hell for not believing in him and doing what the book says i should do, but will not stop the suffering of my mother!
then i will kill that god
for him is not a god
he is a piece of shit
shit
but god has nothing to do with it… some said… it is the freedom of men
it is the freedom of human beings
who misuse the power handled to them by god!
ok come on!
the little boy said
give me a fucking break!
GOD… who created humans… who wants them to worship him… who wants to reward them with heaven if they did what he wants and sends them to hell if they did not… does not answer prayers, could not figure out a system more rewarding and more logical than sending them to earth,,,
so they should come to earth and after that they go to heaven?!
why?
that is stupid?!
do you want to test them?
but you created them!
you stupid fuck…
you created them
like you want
you can create them good
you can create them bad
you can create them ugly
beautiful or not
if they are beautiful… they will have more chances in life! If smarter… more chances…
life is not fair
it is a jungle
the big will eat the weak
YOU … you created them one strong and one weak
why/
why
why
you know what
how do i know that you exist
?
only because my parents said that!
show me your work!
show me yourself
show me your power
show me your strength
hell…
but this is hell
more than this!
what do you want from me?
to help my fellow human beings!?
why don’t you help them too
that is a stupid logic
listen god
you kiss my ass
you and your Jesus and your Mohammed and your stupid fucking Moses
i don’t give a shit
i don’t give a shit
to your sexist and demeaning code of conduct
fuck you
but wait
fucking is also bad
!!!
why?
why?
why eating is good
and fucking is bad
why playing with my dick
is not right?
why?
why?
go, you stupid fuck
it feels good
have you ever tried it?
come on god
leave Marie a bit and go fuck someone else
but wait
a virgin mother
listen you stupid fuck
not only that most of your stories are copycats
not that the stories of the Quran are from the bible
and the bible is from the Sumerians, Babylonian, Egyptian and tons of other
religions that existed before
your people killed them all
and then killed each other
not only that
but your book is full of shit
va te faire foutre!
and leave my dick for me
i will use it like i want
and i don’t need your code
your code harms people
make imbalance
s
i will create my own code
where people can live free
with love
different
helping each other
sharing resources
i will create a better code
i will live by my own rules
and i will be better than you
and your fucking system
you stupid idea..
and if you really exist
… i can’t wait to fucking meet you
i will bomb your heaven
and make you flee to hell
if you really exist
i will become your nightmare!
you fucking shit
but you don’t exist
you are just a sad and bad fairy tale
similar to a dark Santa clause
you are grownups imaginary friend
good for politicians, good for business
good for the powerful
your promises
of a better life
help people die for the powerful…
you are nothing but a muse
muse
for rich people
and those in power
my mother’s problem
is not my father
is your fucking system
if you exist
and if you don’t
and i am certain you don’t
then it is with life
life
is simply not fair
i don’t know
why we are here
how, when, where
but i know your answers are stupid
I’ve read your books
i know your logic
and you… va te faire foutre
yalla 3amo!
the little child
grew up
he refused to be what everyone is
he had so many failures
and he had so few wins
he is now at his final battle
if he won
he will be calling to change the world
because changing the world is a matter of power and not of possibility
and knowledge is a form of power
having a plan is another
having resources and determination to implement the plan
is the hardest part… he came to conclude
a world where people can find people like them ready to help, love, nurture, support and protect… can exist
only if it is necessary for each of them to give in order to take…
god is vacationing
it is up to us, to bond, to plan, to agree and to change the world…
yet… i feel lonely….
because i am
26 years
including 3 years in my own prison…
i was questioning and asking and researching
now it is time to do… but the odds are not on my side… I am alone…
i think i will fail to reach enough people like me…
but to the last breath… i will keep trying
the good news is… in all cases, and whatever will happen does not matter
because
they are randomness and necessity what are driving us now
why i have told you that… because i was afraid of telling you that… and no I have no more secrets …
Therefore, for that agent who asked about me yesterday… in that International NGO and to those behind him… in this document you will learn everything you need to know about me… and you have my phone number so I can tell you who is supporting me… no one… only my belief that all big fires start with one little flame…
good night…




