All big fires start with one little flame…

All big fires start with one little flame…

To my Friend,

I will now write you a little story of a little child who loved to

smile… however, things were not always good for him to smile… he asked questions… he questioned everything…

he questioned life

his existence

the beliefs of his parents

the beliefs of his society

he questioned the norms

he questioned everything

nothing was certain

nothing was true

all became a hypothesis

and then he started his quest

his quest for answers

he started with his peers

and then with his parents

and then with their friends

and then with his teachers

and ultimately

he found two sources for answers

they were called books and TV

from books he took knowledge

from TV he took awareness

the amount of awareness he gathered

was much much more than the amount of knowledge

and that made him

arrogant

he thought he knew

until he met with that person

who questioned his knowledge and showed him his stupidity

he did not like it

he did not like feeling

stupid

and his awareness made him realize

that in reality he was pretending that he knew

why?

because pretending

will boost his ego

why?

because he was having inferiority complexes

his father who does not work

his mother who had to work in cleaning the offices of a company

so she can feed him and his sister

and then come back home

to find her husband

sitting with his books

eating

making a mess out of the house

she comes back to clean the house

and make food

and take care of his grandfather

the little child saw the suffering of his mother

he rejected it

he questioned it

he found answers

why

nothing to do with him

it is not his fault

so much to ask from that little child

he wanted to help his mother

he learned about how the society is treating her

only because she is a woman

how her husband

does not only misuse her

and her work

and his powers over her

but also accused her

of cheating on him

with the neighbor

who used to hear her agony

and her suffering

what is cheating anyway? Having sex with someone else?! Why is it bad?

and then he asked

is that wrong

is that right?

why?

always questioning

why

?

then he learned

that women are not independent creatures

they are only tools

they are belongings

he said

this is unjust

he said

that should not exist

and then he read

women should be subjected to men

they are not allowed to teach

they are not allowed

to speak

they are not allowed to show their hair

they are not allowed to wear jewels

he also read that women are the daughters of the devil

and it is because of them

that Adam lost paradise

…:@

but not my mom

no my mom did not do that, the little child said

on the contrary without his mom the little child concluded

he would be in misery and in need

then they said

women have a role and men have another

then he said: but mom has both roles

then they said

women cannot do what men can

then he said

but my mom is doing it and more

then he read

that women are the backbones of all societies

women harvest

women raise babies

women give birth

women take care

women make food

clean

cook

do everything

and more

then they said

but you are a man

i said to them

no i am not a man

if i am to choose what to want

i want to be a woman

being a man is stupid

arrogant

violent

and not useful

if i am to choose

i will choose being a woman

being a woman

do you like to get fucked ya3ni

i said

no

but why getting fucked is bad?

even if i like getting fucked

will that make me a lesser than a man! be it

my mind brought me to the solution of me being both

a man and a woman

the child said!

yes he was a man

he wanted women

and his mentality is that of what is good in woman

and what is good in men?!

the little child concluded

i am a Mawom!

a half man

and a half wom an

ma -n wom -an

half

but then the little child asked

“why do i want a woman?”

“why do a women want me?” he also questioned

and that brought him to why we are here

and why people exist

and what motivated them

and he discovered

that all humans want to survive

and survival of humans require that they gather and accumulate resources

but why?

they said it is god

he said

wait?

what is god?

who is god?

why is he a god?

how is he a god?

where is he that god?

and how can he change this shit that we are all in!

they replied

god

is the creator

how do you know?

it is written in his book?

!

he created humans!

why?

he gave them their freedom to do what they want! what?

!!!

how can i talk to him, I have some demands!

pray to him, he shall answer your prayers

the little child, went on praying

he talked to him, saying: GOD…i want nothing for me

only for my mother

because she too when she was a child

she was sent to Lebanon from Syria to work

for her parents can live

she was tortured

she was ill-treated

she was beaten

they use to make her starve!

she was 6!

he said to God, listen… i don’t know why you let that happen… but…

he said to god, i’m sure she was also raped… she never said that… but common sense says that…

i’m not sure how you let a 6 years old child suffer that much

i don’t know where you are

what you have been doing

with what you were busy

but couldn’t you hear her screams!

then a little voice pumped out and said

“question everything”

ok god, the little boy said… it seems you don’t have time to answer me so i         will try to ask you for something now

i will do whatever you want from me

in return, please stop the suffering of my mother

nothing happened… the little child saw…

!

God, please make that stop!

:S

not for me, only for her!

she had enough already!

nothing happened

so the little boy went back

and said

if you will not hear my requests

maybe another god will

so he started looking

for the sadness of things

all gods failed!

yet, they all said

there is only one god, one path, one way

and everyone else to hell

but why

where is the mercy in that!

reply came

missionaries are everywhere now

yes

they are everywhere… i was born to a family that says, this god is the true          god and you should fight for him

but the other is born to another family saying , the other god is the true god

and you should fight for him

so they fight!

one dies

and goes to hell

and the second dies and goes to heaven

who will go to heaven and who will go to hell!

?

god works in mysterious ways my ass!

he does not answer a prayer

he created us

wanting and needing

some with powerful character and others with weaker…

some can fight the urge for what is forbidden

and others just can’t

those who can’t will DIE!

will burn in hell!

will be roasted !

but god can do that to you…

so you should be afraid! They said…

should i?

if god will burn me in hell for not believing in him and doing what the book          says i should do, but will not stop the suffering of my mother!

then i will kill that god

for him is not a god

he is a piece of shit

shit

but god has nothing to do with it… some said… it is the freedom of men

it is the freedom of human beings

who misuse the power handled to them by god!

ok come on!

the little boy said

give me a fucking break!

GOD… who created humans… who wants them to worship him… who wants to reward them with heaven if they did what he wants and sends them            to hell if they did not… does not answer prayers, could not figure out a                 system more rewarding and more logical than sending them to earth,,,

so they should come to earth and after that they go to heaven?!

why?

that is stupid?!

do you want to test them?

but you created them!

you stupid fuck…

you created them

like you want

you can create them good

you can create them bad

you can create them ugly

beautiful  or not

if they are beautiful… they will have more chances in life! If smarter… more chances…

life is not fair

it is a jungle

the big will eat the weak

YOU … you created them one strong and one weak

why/

why

why

you know what

how do i know that you exist

?

only because my parents said that!

show me your work!

show me yourself

show me your power

show me your strength

hell…

but this is hell

more than this!

what do you want from me?

to help my fellow human beings!?

why don’t you help them too

that is a stupid logic

listen god

you kiss my ass

you and your Jesus and your Mohammed and your stupid fucking Moses

i don’t give a shit

i don’t give a shit

to your sexist and demeaning code of conduct

fuck you

but wait

fucking is also bad

!!!

why?

why?

why eating is good

and fucking is bad

why playing with my dick

is not right?

why?

why?

go, you stupid fuck

it feels good

have you ever tried it?

come on god

leave Marie a bit and go fuck someone else

but wait

a virgin mother

listen you stupid fuck

not only that most of your stories are copycats

not that the stories of the Quran are from the bible

and the bible is from the Sumerians, Babylonian, Egyptian and tons of other

religions that existed before

your people killed them all

and then killed each other

not only that

but your book is full of shit

va te faire foutre!

and leave my dick for me

i will use it like i want

and i don’t need your code

your code harms people

make imbalance

s

i will create my own code

where people can live free

with love

different

helping each other

sharing resources

i will create a better code

i will live by my own rules

and i will be better than you

and your fucking system

you stupid idea..

and if you really exist

… i can’t wait to fucking meet you

i will bomb your heaven

and make you flee to hell

if you really exist

i will become your nightmare!

you fucking shit

but you don’t exist

you are just a sad and bad fairy tale

similar to a dark Santa clause

you are grownups imaginary friend

good for politicians, good for business

good for the powerful

your promises

of a better life

help people die for the powerful…

you are nothing but a muse

muse

for rich people

and those in power

my mother’s problem

is not my father

is your fucking system

if you exist

and if you don’t

and i am certain you don’t

then it is with life

life

is simply not fair

i don’t know

why we are here

how, when, where

but i know your answers are stupid

I’ve read your books

i know your logic

and you… va te faire foutre

yalla 3amo!

the little child

grew up

he refused to be what everyone is

he had so many failures

and he had so few wins

he is now at his final battle

if he won

he will be calling to  change the world

because changing the world is a matter of power and not of possibility

and knowledge is a form of power

having a plan is another

having resources and determination to implement the plan

is the hardest part… he came to conclude

a world where people can find people like them ready to help, love, nurture, support and protect… can exist

only if it is necessary for each of them to give in order to take…

god is vacationing

it is up to us, to bond, to plan, to agree and to change the world…

yet… i feel lonely….

because i am

26 years

including 3 years in my own prison…

i was questioning and asking and researching

now it is time to do… but the odds are not on my side… I am alone…

i think i will fail to reach enough people like me…

but to the last breath… i will keep trying

the good news is… in all cases, and whatever will happen does not matter

because

they are randomness and necessity what are driving us now

why i have told you that… because i was afraid of telling you that… and no I have no more secrets …

Therefore, for that agent who asked about me yesterday… in that International NGO and to those behind him… in this document you will learn everything you need to know about me… and you have my phone number so I can tell you who is supporting me… no one… only my belief that all big fires start with one little flame…

good night…